Elaine Lilly Crocker

Elaine Lilly Crocker was born to Lucy Nell Branch Lilly Ross and Lloyd Gustave Lilly at Orange Memorial Hospital in Orange, NJ on the 4th of July, 1935. She was their only child and she grew up in Caldwell and Montclair, NJ where she attended Nishuane Elementary, Hillside Middle School, and Montclair, High school. While in school, Elaine developed a love of English, Spanish, and drawing. She dreamed of being a fashion illustrator and studying at Pratt Institute. Elaine also wanted to study Spanish with the American Friends Service Committee summer work/study program in Mexico. Despite being accepted in both programs, two wonderful achievements that were unconventional for a young black woman in the 1950’s, Elaine was dissuaded from attending. Though she had big dreams and talent, her family tried to shield her from the harsh realities of the limited opportunities for young black women in fashion illustration and protect her from the perceived dangers of a young girl traveling alone in Mexico.

Ultimately in 1953, Elaine continued her education at Virginia State University. Attending VSU ended up being a great decision that changed her life. Here she met her lifelong friend of 71-years, Darryl Cumber Dance. Darryl was her roommate for her first three years and big sister when Elaine pledged Delta Sigma Theta. Elaine thoroughly enjoyed her college years always laughing and hanging out with friends while balancing her studies. It was during this time that she met her future husband Bernard Cecil Crocker on campus. Captivated by the tall saxophone player who just returned from the Korean War to attend VSU, Elaine fell in love. She also enjoyed being a big sister as she watched her boyfriend, Bernard, pledge Omega Psi Phi.

On December 28, 1958, Elaine and Bernard married at St. Paul’s Baptist Church in Montclair. Two years later in 1960 they welcomed their first daughter Karen Elaine followed by their second daughter, Patricia Ann in 1964. For the next twenty years, Elaine lived in Montclair worked as a teacher and raised her girls. Unfortunately, tragedy struck in 1974, when Bernard, died. Shortly thereafter in 1978, Elaine left Montclair, NJ to venture to Los Angeles, California. With her two girls and recently retired mother, Lucy Ross in tow, Elaine struck out to make a new life for herself out west.

Professionally, Elaine was a lifelong teacher and school administrator. She worked in the Newark, Montclair and the LA Unified School Districts where she taught both English and ESL and enjoyed working with the kids from more disadvantage backgrounds the most. Elaine made good friends while in LA, became active in the LA Chapter of the NAACP and Delta Sigma Theta. In her later years in LA, Elaine helped out with her first two granddaughters, Sydney Lauren and Jocelyn Nicole Wensel. In 2001, she retired from teaching and was persuaded to return to Montclair to be close to her youngest daughter, Pat, and her newly born third granddaughter, Dylan Blaine. Elaine ultimately bought a house and settled in Bloomfield, NJ.

As a single widowed mom of two, she sacrificed to send her daughters to college. Elaine valued education, she was very proud of her eldest, Karen, who went on to become a physician specializing in Psychiatry and her youngest, Pat, got her MBA in Marketing. Elaine also pursued advanced degrees getting her two Masters, a Master of Arts from Montclair State and a Master of Science from Pepperdine University.

During her retirement, Elaine played an active role in the lives of her third and fourth granddaughters, Dylan Blaine and Drew Ann France. She also pursued interests which included genealogy, bowling, book club, being on the scholarship committee for St. Paul’s Baptist Church, catching up on the phone with

friends, and watching a good film— to name a few. Ultimately anything that involved family time always topped the list for her. As such, she left her mark forever in the hearts of many loved ones, friends, and ultimately her surrounding community.

Well-read, down-to-earth, and quick-witted, she brought humor and sass to all and as the matriarch of the family, reminded us often that keeping the foundation of family love front and center is the key to everything.

Elaine was called home on Sunday, November 17, 2024 and will be deeply missed by those she leaves behind two daughters-- Karen Crocker-Wensel and Patricia Crocker France, four grand- daughters—Sydney Lauren and Jocelyn Nicole Wensel, Dylan Blaine and Drew Ann France, a son-in- law—David Robert France Jr, a beloved fur grand-baby—Domino Deuce France and cadre of other dear friends and family members.

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